Bon appétit

Today I googled some local Vietnam pho restaurant and this following blog popped out. I really like this foodie blogger write about the food.

This is a crowded evening noodle slurp shop. Night noodles is a more relaxed food experience. People have more time and they drink beer and dwell longer than they would over a breakfast bowl.

He is writing about the greasy spoon local fare restaurant, casual but well cooked I guess the foodie bloggers like stickyrice really enjoy double life they are leading. They work in the office as most of us during daytime, but after work their true interests are food. They can manage to withdraw from the daily hectic world.

I have to admit that I enjoy more on reading how good some dish taste about. I don’t think I have a good taste in food as BB does. I could get really jealous when looking at him enjoy himself with those perfectly cooked freshly spicy little lobsters with the inviting red all over them. But his good appetite sometimes-like today- can inspires me to treat myself with some delicious dishes. Earlier today I went to the local Asian grocery store, bought 2 fat female crabs and a half-pound shrimp along some green onion.

15 minutes later after I got back home, the yellow/orange cooked roe inside the crab liquated in my mouth. The pungent flavored roe almost tasted slightly sweet. What else can I ask for a relaxing Saturday afternoon?

Well- Same Sex Couples

I really like the new perspective on gay partnership and even gay marriage this article raised. From my personal experience, same sex partnership has blessings of its own comparing with the traditional heterosexual marriage. But as the author of this article is more likely to be straight, some of his views are a little bit outsiderly oversimplified. However egalitarian is the obvious strength in the same sex relationship, it is not always a blessing in a relationship. As no one looks for another self other than a partner sharing interest and values, the yinyan balance in relationship is one key to make it functional well, which has been proved to be very much the case in all relationship- both gay and straight. As we all notice that gay couples each have their own role differences, and how to balance the relationship in sharing responsibility and authority are always the daily challenges gay couples facing.

But I can’t agree more on another point the article made on solving the conflicts in relationship. Instead of dodging with tactics gays are obviously more committed in solving the conflict by communication, which is a better attitude toward the relationship. Between the two, the homosexual couples are the mature ones that are more willing to and committed in communication. That might because that they learned how fragile the thing called relationship really is, form the fellow couple’s nonlasting romances. Nowadays people are looking for partners to complete themselves. The share interests and values are just the starting point of the relationship, and the really challenges are the spiritual and emotional compatibility between the two after establishing the connection. As the idea what we want in the relationship develops/changes, no one has all the qualities the other person needs. If one fails to grow with his partner, chances are that he might be left behind. Because of all those, the commitment and efforts of those regular gay couple together for years made are always touching.

The 21 years couple, Stuart Gafney and John Lewis (right) , celebrate on the steps of the State Supreme Court moments after the court's decision legalizing marriage between same-sex couples, in which they were plantiffs.

拍拖 aka dating

拍拖这个词的来历原来是航运俗语中来的，通常大船载货并拖小船一艘，主航道大拖小；近岸时，大船吃水深，难以靠岸，此时小船便卸货上岸，来回相依-是为拍拖。

Teardrop--Love is a doing word…

I really loved this song, and especially the love is a verb, love is a doing word portion in the lyric. This song is the theme song of Dr. House-one of my favorites this season, mainly because of the reminiscent of a heartbeat part(drum?) at the very beginning. But the song is written by massive attack, originally song by Elizabeth Fraser (formerly known as cocteau twins – one of most influential singers to Faye Wong ) right after the accidentally death of her back-then lover Jeff . So the teardrop on the fear, to me, is metaphorically comparing one’s love and passion to a fire, which will greatly overcome any grief- teardrop. I believe this is one of those songs written to those who are going through grief, loss, and hardship. What they went through has created a hole in their life. And it might help to turn to a larger wholeness around that empty/grieving space.

In the live version, shooting angle purposely mimics that motion of heartbeat,

which echoed the underlined meaning of the life as the fetus lip singing in the MTV.


Lyric:
Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Nine night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

one plus one

Another weekend is half gone. Two lovely movies later, I am now sitting in the balcony of my apartment, surrounded by green trees and sound of birds.

I really loved the movie Starting Out in the Evening, which is about an old writer/novelist. I have a thing for the movies or shows for writers, because I found recording the soul adventures that regular people go through are rather fascinating. The writing topics can vary from what happening in the daily life-maybe trivial but still fleshy- to something dramatic like suicide and sexaholic. But as one of my favorite writer once said, the really inviting part is that when writing he is speaking on behalf a lived soul. Typing this piece reminds me how much I liked blogging, one of the few things I do that is remotely close to writing. As a more of rational person, I refuse to use simplistic critical thinking on most issues. That helps me look things in both sides or mulit-sides as many things are in real life, but also gives me a rather lengthy and on one hand & on the other hand clinch style.

I also watched one of my all time favorites the hours one more time. And the story of Julian Moore’s character tells me something new on how it feels like to be the son of a closet gay parent. I am not saying the director ethically condemned the closet gay parents, or the rest of us should do. But that is still someone I personally won’t want to be. Partly because that is something I can’t afford plus it is beyond what I can handle –based on the pieces of ideas I learn about myself over the years. But gays couldn't all guard their lives so tightly that they can stop giving in to the temptation of being a parent in a straight marriage. Every single one of us has our own case that nobody else can exactly mimic.

Now I can read more from a masterpiece movie like the hours than few years ago, thanks to growing old and being happily settled. I feel that I grow up into this entity+soul that the other half’s existence keep reminding me that I am part of someone else’s life as much as I am of my own. There are not many things can top that.

Light off time now, and B you have a good sleep.

pleasant blogurprises

I didn’t update for quite a while- two full months to be exact, and I found two surprises in my own blog…

Here is one treat from the photos group I subscribed at flickr

This is the comment left by Matt, whose blog I subscribed and followed rather closely.

love thermal dynamics

Last week, there was this important meeting at work, and the boss decided to hire a new guy who used to work for him. The boss wanted to hire this person through G's company. I ran into this situation before. Every time, when the budget boss wants to hire someone through the one company, he either wants more control on the company or he wants to do a big favor to the hiree. But most of time, it ends up as a win-win if both sides can settle it well, given the hiree is easy to work with.

I remember I read one article on applying thermal dynamics into our daily life:
First law: You cannot win (that is, you cannot get something for nothing, because matter and energy are conserved).
Second law: You cannot break even (you cannot return to the same energy state, because there is always an increase in disorder; entropy always increases).
Zero law: You cannot get out of the game (because absolute zero is unattainable).

That certainly can be applied to most cases we run into during our daily work. We need to find the balance on almost everything. But with a little modification, they can be applied to relationship.

First law : There is no win; but we can achieve a win-win
Second law: There is no break even; but we can achieve a maximum thropy(win-win again)
Zero law : We can find ways to enjoy or have fun in a relationship.

There certainly is no way to measure win or lose in a relationship, simply because we don't know how to measure it - so as love. People always say that it is LOVE that make the world go around. I used to believe it is more like the profit that make the materialism world go around, especially in the commercial world like the one we are in right now, things are profit driven. People say that it is moments, days and nights they spent with their loved ones that will count by the end of the day. They made a point. I remember the hongkong movie “Tempting Heart”, in the end the 2-decade boyfriend showed her a pile of photos of sky. Those were the sky when he missed her, with the when and where on the back of the photos. A little bit dramatic, but still very touchy and literally made the point. When looking back upon the things I went through with D, the first time we met, the gathering afterwards, the sweet moments and also those moments he drove me nuts... We witnessed the relationship grows and we grow along with it. So it is love that move the world around - still learning on how LOVE works its power to do so though. But one thing I learned is that although love cant be measured, but we can certainly know it when it is there. Along all those years, what I learned on the difference between love and infatuation is that time did play different roles in them. Some say that they still love their partner as much now as the very day they met the other half. I say they feel the love more because they know them more, and the infatuation less also because they know them more. Love simply lasts.


How to achieve the win win in a relationship is always a tricky question, espicially when there is no win in a relationship. I guess like anything else in life, we need to learn to how to love and how to feel the love. Maybe this is how we can get to win win. It isn't easy, otherwise we wont see so many people failed. The communication is the bridge, as any other relationships. And being open is the key, open our mind, open our eyes and open our ears. So easy to say and hard to do. There are so many times I have already "get" what BB thinks before he even says it. There are projectings, my projectings. It is silly but it is who we are. We never see the world as WHAT IT IS, but as WHO WE ARE. And there are times we say things as what we wish they are instead of what they really are. Of course bonding also means we intertwine our prespective, i.e. WHO WE ARE. There will be differences, and even crashes. Usually when we try to convince others, we are so convinced that we are right. Arent we? How to find/fight a way out of it. Love, I guess. After all Love is patient, love is kind. I remember in one episode, after a little fight, I said "you know I love you, right?". That was more for me than for him. So is the "I am sorry". According to Jennifer Cavalleri"Love means never having to say you're sorry", along with "never say I love you unless you mean it". So love is hard, because of the patient, kind, not envy, not boast, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking etc... One thing I learned in the relationship is that our partner served as a wonderful mirror for us once we are open. We learn ourselves through them, usually and mostly through the unpleasant confront and fight we had. But the reason we know love lasts is because love is sweet, and it is mouth-watering sweet. So prepared ourselves with a dose of courage and 9 doses of love, give it time and we will have fun and see many beautiful scene on the road.